I feel like writing in purple today so im going to....im not listening to Tears for Fears but the sentiment of that song fits how im feeling at the moment, its like this unshakeable miasma of discontent has settled over me and is making me feel the need to either do something radical to blow the cobwebs away or stand and scream until it all feels better....the latter would be the easier option but given my current dispute with my nightmare neighbours downstairs I think it might be a case of 2 steps forwards and then half a mile back....

So....whats making me feel like this? Well it seems at the moment that every area of my life is at some kind of cross roads and I could do without having to make decisions about it all which may come back to haunt me. Work for instance, the tension between me and the friend I share an office with has been resolved but now we have both gone for another job (same org just higher position) and have both been shortlisted for interviewed. We were pitted against each other for the role I currently have....to complicate matters further I am not even sure I want the role....its a swings and roundabouts thing - I would trade line management (which I hate) for longer working hours (to include breakfast meetings etc), the money is slightly better (next scale up) but I would lose my expenses because of where its based so overall would probably be bringing home the same, the profile is much higher - working on executive level and thats probably the biggest draw - but that means that the pressure to perform would be higher. Hmmm.

At home there are various shitty situations going on, family are going through a rough time and im acting as a constant sounding board for various members, then there is the problem of the people downstairs...is it me or is it just plain rude to do/allow the following things when you live in a block of flats?

1) Hammer repeatedly for over an hour at gone midnight

2) Have the flat FULL of people laughing, joking, shouting until the early hours with all the windows open on a weeknight (frequently)

3) On one particular night as described in (2) allow 4 children under the age of 6 to run up and down the communal stairs repeatedly ringing the flats buzzer and yelling through the intercom and when confronted on this at 12.15am to respond with 'they're kids - what do you want me to do?'

They have also installed a GIGANTIC satellite dish on the side of their flat directly under my living room window despite the fact ALL of the flats have a lease agreement to use the communal dishes and not install their own....its now playing havoc with my sky plus which keeps freezing.

Thankfully since the start of Ramadan they have gone suspiciously quiet, im assuming that the fasting during the day means they only want to eat and sleep of an evening and leave the partying/furniture building to daylight hours. Its so strange, since the moment they moved in they are quiet during the day and dont even start making noise til gone 10pm...they live in a flat - why dont they understand you just cant do that!?

Given the cumulative lack of sleep im probably actually coping better than expected. God I wish I lived in California.