I really am trying to blog more as promised this year and as im sitting here watching the soap omnibus marathon it seemed like an opportune time, watching the various storylines around child abduction, murder, adultery and the like makes you realise that life could indeed be a whole lot worse.

 

Bunnybunbunbun - you needn't apologise, I set my birthday wrong on here as January rather than december which is why it didnt show as my birthday the other day. Thank you for the message anyway  I think when I did it it was because I genuinely need this place to be somewhere I can write freely and without fear of anyone I know reading it so I thought not putting my real birthday was a good idea, now im not so bothered but I still want to be 'undiscovered' if you know what I mean because its liberating and I need this outlet. I hope that doesnt make me seem deceitful.

It was a lovely birthday considering and the last few days have been interesting to say the least. My husband and I had an interesting conversation last night, at the end of which I felt like I had lost a massive weight off my shoulders. Basically we agreed that we are indeed working towards sorting out our marriage and that its going well and we are happy. I knew I was but this confirmation from him was so valuable. Usually its very difficult to get him to talk about his feelings or anything emotional but last night he did. And he agreed it feels different this time and that we seem to be back on the same wavelength that always made is special in the first place.

I feel weird, cautious, happy and relieved. Most of all I just feel like everything is happening as it should and that however this turns out that was how it was supposed to be, thats a totally new mindset for me but I feel like its the right and the best one to have for me at this moment in time. 

If you had said to me a year ago that this is how things would be I wouldnt have believed you. We arent going to rush things though, part of me has learned to absolutely love living on my own, I guess if things go well we will have to get used to living together again. I guess the biggest lesson I learnt over the last 2 years is to be happy on my own and enjoy my own company, I will NEVER give that up again and I guess maybe thats why things are starting to work out for us again, im independent and confident rather than clingy and possessive. We have both done a lot of growing up during this hiatus. 

Anyway, I am so not in the mood for work tomorrow, this christmas break has gone way too fast. Im sure at least half the country are with me on that one though. Onwards and upwards I guess....